“We have a secret in our culture. . . And it’s not that childbirth is painful. It’s that women are strong” (Laura Stavoe Harm.)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Even after the most stressful days

Having children is one of the greatest joys that we can have, but many times that joy can turn into feelings of inadequacy's that we may not quite understand. Entering in a kindergarten room may bring up old fears of schools, a picky eater may make us feel insecure to give proper nutrition the list goes on and on. The goal is to see that for what it was- what was that scare little girl feeling all those years ago that we bottled up and shoved deep down inside of us- something we never quite dealt with in our childhood. When we have children we revisit these feelings. So when our children are criticized we internalize it we feel that pain that we have been hiding all these years, the surface has been scratch and we are a puddle on the floor all over again.
What I must ask myself and other-
What is the source, no matter how silly you may think it may be, find it.
Recognize it.
Listen to it- really listen to that little girl inside you.
Understand it.
Forgive and let it go.
Then take a deep breath and see if the criticism that felt so painful a moment ago still hurts.
See that person as a human being who has similar fears and pains as you do about their own childhood.
Now listen to it again.
Understand it
Take a deep breath and see what you can do.
Watching our children grow can be very challenging, comparing them to other children can be down right painful at times.
We need to see adults and children as humans with there own insecurities and fears and they pass them around as much as possible. Break the chain and heal from the words that passed on you.

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